Tuesday, June 30, 2015


Mom and her favourite dog Buddy
Do you believe in signs ? Signs from loved ones , or are they just weird coincidences?  I believe, I have experienced a couple since my mom died, one just last night. 

I was looking up my previous collies weights at the 5 month age to see how Ash compared.  I was stunned when I saw that Buddy passed away, May 31 1997, 18 years ago when he was 18.....
My mom passed away the exact same day.  Buddy was her favourite dog ever, how she loved him.

When at Debra's last week I was telling her of a card we had bought my Grandma when she was sick in the hospital, that played music, that I received when my Grandma died,  I couldn't remember the song that played on it however.  I was telling her how one night when I lived in Thunder Bay the music started playing in it's own.....in the other room!  Brad and I were in bed and it really freaked me out . 

I was looking for a card to give my sister before I left her house, I found the perfect one, why was it perfect?,  on it were the first few words of the song that played on the card I have from my Grandmother. 

I'm sure there are signs all around us, we just have to be open to seeing them, and to be open that perhaps our loved ones in heaven are trying to let us know they are ok :)

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Go With Your Heart

How does one get over the death of their mother?? I suppose you don't, ever.  I have become a different person.  I feel shut down, numb, nothing matters.  I want to do things with my dogs but then when I think of doing something I get a panic attack and cant do it.

I'm taking off for awhile, I don't know how long, I have put no pressure on myself to know when I'm coming home.  I am bringing my dogs, I need them, especially Lync who is very in tuned to me and my emotions.

At times I am restless, can't stop moving or get comfortable, at times I feel like screaming my head off.  At these times I go in to the bath tub and listen to relaxing music until I can calm down.

Anyway, I did something out of the blue just now, I don't know why I did it, but I went with the feeling I had in my gut.  I think someone was pushing me to do it so I followed my heart.   I went to the Chapters site and there under Bibles was a gorgeous purple Bible.   My favourite colour, before I could tell myself I had no money , or this was stupid, I bought it.  Not sure if I will read it or not, I guess I will find out.  Interesting anyway, so stay tuned.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Goodbye my mom, my friend, my hero, my everything....

MOM, September 2 1931-May 31 2015

A Message From My Mom ,,,,
 As I sit in heaven
And watch you everyday
I try to let you know with signs
I never went away
I hear you when your laughing
And watch you when you sleep
I even place my arms around you to calm you as you weep
I see you wish the days away
Begging to have me home
So I try to to send you signs
So you know you're not alone
Don't feel guilty that you are here
Life that was denied to me
Heaven is truly beautiful
Just you wait and see
So live your life, laugh again
Enjoy yourself, be free
Then I know with every breathe you take
You'll be taking one for me....