Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Go With Your Heart

How does one get over the death of their mother?? I suppose you don't, ever.  I have become a different person.  I feel shut down, numb, nothing matters.  I want to do things with my dogs but then when I think of doing something I get a panic attack and cant do it.

I'm taking off for awhile, I don't know how long, I have put no pressure on myself to know when I'm coming home.  I am bringing my dogs, I need them, especially Lync who is very in tuned to me and my emotions.

At times I am restless, can't stop moving or get comfortable, at times I feel like screaming my head off.  At these times I go in to the bath tub and listen to relaxing music until I can calm down.

Anyway, I did something out of the blue just now, I don't know why I did it, but I went with the feeling I had in my gut.  I think someone was pushing me to do it so I followed my heart.   I went to the Chapters site and there under Bibles was a gorgeous purple Bible.   My favourite colour, before I could tell myself I had no money , or this was stupid, I bought it.  Not sure if I will read it or not, I guess I will find out.  Interesting anyway, so stay tuned.


Chelsea B said...

Lots of prayers and internet hugs for you. I can only imagine what this will be like for me one day. May you find comfort.

Chelsea B said...

And if you do open it, I find that John is full of comfort for me.

Anonymous said...

I lost my mom, too 3 months ago. She was my world. I can relate to what you feel. I may look happy but deep inside, I feel empty. My dogs keep me company everyday when no one else can. Somehow, they make me smile. Prayers are, above all, your greatest tool in living each day without your mom. God bless.