I try hard to be more positive, everyday I try to think of something to be grateful for. This week however has been like a truck has ran over me, then backed up and run over me again :(
3 days ago my sister Joanne called to say they found more Cancer, this time in her lungs. She had just finished with her second round of chemo about 3 months ago. I am so numb, I won't let myself really think about it, or what it means that it is now in her lungs.
She started chemo again yesterday, this time pills. She takes them for 2 weeks, then gets a week off and her Dr will evaluate her and decide the next step. I asked her if she had considered not doing the chemo, it is so hard on her, her mouth gets full of sores, I just can't imagine. She said she is just happy they are still offering her treatment, she knows there will be a day that they will say they can do no more. This is so unfair, I am really having a hard time believing in God at the moment, what God allows so much suffering?
I am terrified what this is doing to my mom. I called her today, she wants to know why she can't die instead of Joanne, it hurts so bad to hear the despair in her voice.
I will be home on December 29th for my nieces Wedding. I hope to whisk Joanne away with my sister Debra and do something, just us 3 sisters if we can.
I am also contemplating moving back home for awhile. If things get worse I may, just so my mom isn't alone. I want to have more time with Joanne, this so just all so hard.
There is one exciting thing happening, Joanne & Jane have decided to marry! It will be May 22 2015, I am so thrilled for her and that she found the courage to do this, that is another story, my mom is a bit difficult you might say, lol This is giving Joanne something to look forward to and to stay strong for, I hope it works <3 p="">
|Joanne and Jane on their trip to Jamaica|