Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Have you ever been hit by a truck twice in one week??

I try hard to be more positive, everyday I try to think of something to be grateful for.  This week however has been like a truck has ran over me, then backed up and run over me again :(

3 days ago my sister Joanne called to say they found more Cancer,  this time in her lungs.  She had just finished with her second round of chemo about 3 months ago.  I am so numb, I won't let myself really think about it, or what it means that it is now in her lungs. 

She started chemo again yesterday, this time pills.  She takes them for 2 weeks, then gets a week off and her Dr will evaluate her and decide the next step.  I asked her if she had considered not doing the chemo, it is so hard on her, her mouth gets full of sores,  I just can't imagine.  She said she is just happy they are still offering her treatment, she knows there will be a day that they will say they can do no more.  This is so unfair,  I am really having a hard time believing in God at the moment,  what God allows so much suffering?

I am terrified what this is doing to my mom.  I called her today, she wants to know why she can't die instead of Joanne, it hurts so bad to hear the despair in her voice.

I will be home on December 29th for my nieces Wedding.  I hope to whisk Joanne away with my sister Debra and do something, just us 3 sisters if we can.

I am also contemplating moving back home for awhile.  If things get worse I may, just so my mom isn't alone.  I want to have more time with Joanne,  this so just all so hard.

There is one exciting thing happening, Joanne & Jane have decided to marry!  It will be May 22 2015, I am so thrilled for her and that she found the courage to do this, that is another story, my mom is a bit difficult you might say, lol  This is giving Joanne something to look forward to and to stay strong for,  I hope it works  <3 p="">
Joanne and Jane on their trip to Jamaica


manymuddypaws said...

It's a tough hand that's for sure. Your family is strong Jo. Keep positive.

And on that note, Cancer sucks.

Dianne SS said...

That saying about God never gives us more to handle than he thinks we are capable of handling? I'm not sure I'm buying that anymore, especially when I look at your situation and your family's. Sure seems so grossly unfair in every possible way. You'll make the best decision you can, whatever it will be. Never having had any siblings I don't know what that bond must feel like. I know that when my eldest uncle died of Cancer it really rocked my mom and she was never the same. He was so strong and tough and it got him anyway. ((HUGS)) and all the support and love I can send to you, as always my friend.

Squishy said...

Life seems so unfair. Sorry Jolene. Keep strong for your family, but it's ok to cry too if both can be done at the same time.


You and your pack are in our thoughts and prayers.

Sherman & Dog Dad