Tomorrow is the big day, Lync will be 2 !! Soooo hard to believe!, I'm celebrating a bit early I know but he is so special to me!!
I have fun things in store for him tomorrow too :)
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015
Book Report #1
I have finished reading Mans Search For Meaning. I enjoyed reading it and found that my mind didn't wander as much as I thought it would. My concentration is not like it was years ago.
The gist of it was how the author, a prisoner of war, survived being in 4 different concentration camps. It's about the mind and how only you can control how you feel and how you react in any given situation.
For instance the author had everything he owned stripped from him, the Nazi's were able to take away everything but his Freedom to choose how he would respond to the situation. You can't control what happens to you in life , but you can control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.
I agree for the most part, HOWEVER, when one in a state of depression or anxiety one must dig very deep to control the negative thoughts and feelings one is going through. Of course I would never compare my depression to one who has been held prisoner in a concentration camp, but it is something for me to at least strive for. To change my way of thinking when having an anxiety episode. I think just remembering what these prisoners went through will help me get through.
I am glad my psychiatrist recommended it to me, she has another book she will tell me about next visit, I'm looking forward to it.
I have started to read Letters From Motherless Daughters, I am about half way through so I will wait until I have finished the book to make my report on it.
Until then I highly recommend you get yourself a copy of Mans Search For Meaning if you haven't already read it, it is quite riveting.
The gist of it was how the author, a prisoner of war, survived being in 4 different concentration camps. It's about the mind and how only you can control how you feel and how you react in any given situation.
For instance the author had everything he owned stripped from him, the Nazi's were able to take away everything but his Freedom to choose how he would respond to the situation. You can't control what happens to you in life , but you can control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.
I agree for the most part, HOWEVER, when one in a state of depression or anxiety one must dig very deep to control the negative thoughts and feelings one is going through. Of course I would never compare my depression to one who has been held prisoner in a concentration camp, but it is something for me to at least strive for. To change my way of thinking when having an anxiety episode. I think just remembering what these prisoners went through will help me get through.
I am glad my psychiatrist recommended it to me, she has another book she will tell me about next visit, I'm looking forward to it.
I have started to read Letters From Motherless Daughters, I am about half way through so I will wait until I have finished the book to make my report on it.
Until then I highly recommend you get yourself a copy of Mans Search For Meaning if you haven't already read it, it is quite riveting.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Self Help
I mentioned in my previous post that I was seeing a psychiatrist, I saw her yesterday and she recommended a book for me to read.
I went to Chapters today and bought it, it is called "Man's Search For Meaning" by Victor Frankl. It's a story about the authors struggle to keep alive while imprisoned in 4 different concentration camps .
While there I went over to the self help section and found a book called "Letters From Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman, I haven't brought myself to open it yet, my hands shake when I even pick it up. When I'm ready I will read it, the title is self explanatory.
I went to Chapters today and bought it, it is called "Man's Search For Meaning" by Victor Frankl. It's a story about the authors struggle to keep alive while imprisoned in 4 different concentration camps .
While there I went over to the self help section and found a book called "Letters From Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman, I haven't brought myself to open it yet, my hands shake when I even pick it up. When I'm ready I will read it, the title is self explanatory.
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Catching Up
I'm still here, waiting for something to happen so I can blog, truth is I lead a pretty boring life.
November will be 2 years since I have worked , amazing how fast the 2 years went. The first year was a blur, the pain and everything.
I actually did find a perfect part time job, at a grooming shop , bathing dogs only, but after a week where I only had 2 days of work, they stopped calling, kept saying not enough dogs, so I quit. I am not wasting my time if I can find a more regular part time job. First time I have ever quit a job! lol, and that is in 35 years of working!
This year I have spent doing more stuff with the dogs, having more time with Brad on his days off ,which is awesome. With the travel time and his 12 hour shifts he is gone 14 hours a day, then sleeps for the next 2 days when he gets off work.
It has been a bit hectic having the 3rd dog again, especially as he is a puppy and not an old man like Tate was. I have basically 2 puppies as Lync is just coming up on 2 years at the end of this month.
I am taking obedience classes with Ash and Lync, so Ash is from 6:15 to 7:15 then right after is Lync at 7:30 to 8:30. I find it really hard , especially when it is roasting hot out like it has been. I can't tolerate the heat very well, it makes me feel sick, last week I skipped Lyncs class.
Ash is a screamer in his crate, so I hear him screaming in the front of the area while I am working Lync, it bothers me, I cant put him in the van as its too hot. Next time I will do separate classes for them.
I find I don't walk my dogs as much as used to now. Walking the 3 of them is horrible most times, Kort is awesome but he usually starts to lag after about a half hour so he walks behind us. Lync pulls like no dog I have ever had, I have tried everything to stop it, but to no avail, It makes me annoyed and frustrated then I just want to go home and end the walk, Ash is not bad but he zig zags all over! We are working on that
.
I also am afraid to let Ash off leash in an unprotected area. He is not a very good listener and will ignore me when I call him, we are working on that too. Lync has an amazing recall but lately I have been worried about letting him off leash as well, especially after the deer chasing incident, he ignored me totally, so I am afraid he will again if he wants something bad enough. Mostly it is just too damn hot to take them anywhere but the lake, which is perfect except for the 40 minute drive there and back so I only go about 3 times a week.
This all gives me tremendous guilt which in turn gives me huge anxiety, which brings me to my next announcement, I finally got in to see a psychiatrist!! A woman who is just taking on new patients, I am really excited, I have seen her once last month and she changed all my meds, I cant say I feel a lot different but I do seem to have more days of laughing then crying since I changed them. I see her again in a few days. While there she made me promise to also go to Alberta Mental Health and see someone there as well. A person I can talk to about everything , including the grief I have and the worry over my sister Joanne as her Cancer is spreading throughout her entire body now and she is going through chemo again. I cant even remember how many she has gone through now, there has been so many since her diagnosis in 2011.
I have this stupid number, 5 years, in my head. Cancer patients like Joanne are lucky if they survive 5 years, I honestly don't think I can survive if she dies, I try my best not to go there.
So going back to my grief , I did go to Mental Health and saw a really nice Social worker. I will be going to a grief support group when they start up in September, I think it will be a great idea for me to talk about things.
Moms birthday is coming up on the 2nd of September, I am already dreading it. It will be a tough day.
On an exciting note, Debra's birthday is September 8th and it is her 50th!!! I am going to drive to Edmonton for a few days to surprise her ! I will be coming home on the 10th and leaving the very next day for Cochrane and the dog show that I have entered Ash in! At least my suitcase will be packed haha. It will be alot of driving for me, I wish I could find someone to go with me though.
Now for a change of topic, July 12 was 5 years that my dad passed away, I forgot , I feel bad, I would have at least acknowledged him, I miss him. It's different from missing from my mom, I don't cry when I think of my dad, I loved him but not like I loved my mom, it's two different kind of loves that you have for your mom and dad, at least for me it is.
So that's about it for now, I promise to try to keep up blogging. I find writing a great stress reliever, I just have to make sure to do it!
November will be 2 years since I have worked , amazing how fast the 2 years went. The first year was a blur, the pain and everything.
I actually did find a perfect part time job, at a grooming shop , bathing dogs only, but after a week where I only had 2 days of work, they stopped calling, kept saying not enough dogs, so I quit. I am not wasting my time if I can find a more regular part time job. First time I have ever quit a job! lol, and that is in 35 years of working!
This year I have spent doing more stuff with the dogs, having more time with Brad on his days off ,which is awesome. With the travel time and his 12 hour shifts he is gone 14 hours a day, then sleeps for the next 2 days when he gets off work.
It has been a bit hectic having the 3rd dog again, especially as he is a puppy and not an old man like Tate was. I have basically 2 puppies as Lync is just coming up on 2 years at the end of this month.
I am taking obedience classes with Ash and Lync, so Ash is from 6:15 to 7:15 then right after is Lync at 7:30 to 8:30. I find it really hard , especially when it is roasting hot out like it has been. I can't tolerate the heat very well, it makes me feel sick, last week I skipped Lyncs class.
Ash is a screamer in his crate, so I hear him screaming in the front of the area while I am working Lync, it bothers me, I cant put him in the van as its too hot. Next time I will do separate classes for them.
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| Canada Day 2015 |
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I also am afraid to let Ash off leash in an unprotected area. He is not a very good listener and will ignore me when I call him, we are working on that too. Lync has an amazing recall but lately I have been worried about letting him off leash as well, especially after the deer chasing incident, he ignored me totally, so I am afraid he will again if he wants something bad enough. Mostly it is just too damn hot to take them anywhere but the lake, which is perfect except for the 40 minute drive there and back so I only go about 3 times a week.
This all gives me tremendous guilt which in turn gives me huge anxiety, which brings me to my next announcement, I finally got in to see a psychiatrist!! A woman who is just taking on new patients, I am really excited, I have seen her once last month and she changed all my meds, I cant say I feel a lot different but I do seem to have more days of laughing then crying since I changed them. I see her again in a few days. While there she made me promise to also go to Alberta Mental Health and see someone there as well. A person I can talk to about everything , including the grief I have and the worry over my sister Joanne as her Cancer is spreading throughout her entire body now and she is going through chemo again. I cant even remember how many she has gone through now, there has been so many since her diagnosis in 2011.
 |
| Sisters ~ at Joanne's Wedding !! |
So going back to my grief , I did go to Mental Health and saw a really nice Social worker. I will be going to a grief support group when they start up in September, I think it will be a great idea for me to talk about things.
Moms birthday is coming up on the 2nd of September, I am already dreading it. It will be a tough day.
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| Debra and Lync when he was 4 weeks old |
Now for a change of topic, July 12 was 5 years that my dad passed away, I forgot , I feel bad, I would have at least acknowledged him, I miss him. It's different from missing from my mom, I don't cry when I think of my dad, I loved him but not like I loved my mom, it's two different kind of loves that you have for your mom and dad, at least for me it is.
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| Dad |
Monday, August 3, 2015
Tate
Today is 9 months since I said good bye to my Tater Dog.......
DONT CRY BECAUSE ITS OVER
SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED
DONT CRY BECAUSE ITS OVER
SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED
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