November will be 2 years since I have worked , amazing how fast the 2 years went. The first year was a blur, the pain and everything.
I actually did find a perfect part time job, at a grooming shop , bathing dogs only, but after a week where I only had 2 days of work, they stopped calling, kept saying not enough dogs, so I quit. I am not wasting my time if I can find a more regular part time job. First time I have ever quit a job! lol, and that is in 35 years of working!
This year I have spent doing more stuff with the dogs, having more time with Brad on his days off ,which is awesome. With the travel time and his 12 hour shifts he is gone 14 hours a day, then sleeps for the next 2 days when he gets off work.
It has been a bit hectic having the 3rd dog again, especially as he is a puppy and not an old man like Tate was. I have basically 2 puppies as Lync is just coming up on 2 years at the end of this month.
I am taking obedience classes with Ash and Lync, so Ash is from 6:15 to 7:15 then right after is Lync at 7:30 to 8:30. I find it really hard , especially when it is roasting hot out like it has been. I can't tolerate the heat very well, it makes me feel sick, last week I skipped Lyncs class.
Ash is a screamer in his crate, so I hear him screaming in the front of the area while I am working Lync, it bothers me, I cant put him in the van as its too hot. Next time I will do separate classes for them.
|Canada Day 2015|
I also am afraid to let Ash off leash in an unprotected area. He is not a very good listener and will ignore me when I call him, we are working on that too. Lync has an amazing recall but lately I have been worried about letting him off leash as well, especially after the deer chasing incident, he ignored me totally, so I am afraid he will again if he wants something bad enough. Mostly it is just too damn hot to take them anywhere but the lake, which is perfect except for the 40 minute drive there and back so I only go about 3 times a week.
This all gives me tremendous guilt which in turn gives me huge anxiety, which brings me to my next announcement, I finally got in to see a psychiatrist!! A woman who is just taking on new patients, I am really excited, I have seen her once last month and she changed all my meds, I cant say I feel a lot different but I do seem to have more days of laughing then crying since I changed them. I see her again in a few days. While there she made me promise to also go to Alberta Mental Health and see someone there as well. A person I can talk to about everything , including the grief I have and the worry over my sister Joanne as her Cancer is spreading throughout her entire body now and she is going through chemo again. I cant even remember how many she has gone through now, there has been so many since her diagnosis in 2011.
|Sisters ~ at Joanne's Wedding !!|
So going back to my grief , I did go to Mental Health and saw a really nice Social worker. I will be going to a grief support group when they start up in September, I think it will be a great idea for me to talk about things.
Moms birthday is coming up on the 2nd of September, I am already dreading it. It will be a tough day.
|Debra and Lync when he was 4 weeks old|
Now for a change of topic, July 12 was 5 years that my dad passed away, I forgot , I feel bad, I would have at least acknowledged him, I miss him. It's different from missing from my mom, I don't cry when I think of my dad, I loved him but not like I loved my mom, it's two different kind of loves that you have for your mom and dad, at least for me it is.