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| Wine for me & 2 toys for Linc :) |
It was a bit easier to be at the trial this time then when I was at Spruce Meadows. I am slowly starting to feel less of the pain. There are some that don't understand why I am still "dwelling" on this. Why I can't just move on, get over it. I can't tell you how many people have said, well at least he doesn't have cancer, or at least you still have your dog. Not just one person either, many.
Who decides what time limit you have to feel bad? I understand people do not want to always hear about how sad you are, it's depressing to continually hear the same old sad story, people would rather you just lie & say, "I feel awesome, thanks for asking " I get that, really I do. I have family that I just don't ask them how they are doing anymore, because I really don't want to hear the same thing over & over.
I do not hide my feelings very well, so please don't ask me how am I feeling if you don't want to hear the truth, that I feel shitty, & sad & depressed, & I still cry alot, but I'm working on it. I am not giving myself a time limit, I will feel how I feel for as long as it takes & I could care less how that makes me look.
I had Brad bring Kort to the trial on Saturday as Dr Devall was there doing appointments. She was so pleased with how much Kort has improved from his last visit to see her in Calgary. When I say improved I don't mean his Spondylosis has disappeared, but his core is strengthening . We do however have a new problem . I mentioned to her how I hear something crack when he is getting up from his down position while doing his exercises. She checked him out & feels it is a neurological problem, rather then structural, super :(
There is a spot on his lower back that is the problem , possibly some nerve root issue I think she said, we are just monitoring it right now , I have some new exercises to get him working his right back leg & foot, if it gets worse, or he starts seeming to be in pain, we will have to think of doing a CT scan.
We go back to see Dr Devall in Sept, so hopefully there will be even more improvement.
So that's about it in a nutshell, I'm happy that all the exercises are paying off for Kort & I hope whatever is going on with his back leg improves as well.
5 comments:
It's very brave of you to be out volunteering like that--I'm sure it's quite bittersweet for you. I hear you on the time limit thing--first of all it's only been a couple of weeks since Kort's diagnosis, and second of all, what does time matter? There are things that might become less painful as time goes on, but we don't ever totally 'get over' these losses and disappointments. I am happy to hear that Kort's doing well with core strengthening, but sad that there's another issue too. Maybe that has had something to do with his reluctance to sit? Hang in there my friend. xoxox
There is no time limit for how long we are allowed to feel sad. We feel better when we are ready, and not a moment before. I wish things were different, I know how much you loved competing with him.
You go girl. Feel shitty and depressed and sad for as long as you need to. No one can tell you when it's over except you. You lost a huge part of your life, with competing and it will be a long time before you go back into the ring with Lync. So, screw anyone who tells you to get over it already.
I hope Kort is ok and you don't have to do a CT scan. As always you are always in my heart. Oxox ♥♥♥♥♥
man how I love you guys ♥
xoxoxo
Hmmm, we would say you write for you. At least that is what we do in our blog.
Essex & Sherman
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