I feel like screaming, every second of everyday! I have been fighting this for at least 2 months, told my Dr about it last month and I am waiting to see another Dr/Phycologist at the end of this month.
I call it anxiety, but I don't know if that's what it is, it is all consuming and upseting. I don't even know how to describe what it feels like. It's a gnawing below my breastbone, like you feel when you are scared. It's like I am on edge , on constant alert.
I want to cry it is so bad. For the most part I fight it, I occupy my mind so I have no time to think about it, I walk, alot, like all the time, if I am not walking I am reading, driving, singing, whatever it takes to stop it.
Today I have decided to write about it while it is happening. I just soaked in the tub for an hour, I seemed ok, then bamn it hits me when I get out. I really can't take much more of it, I am afraid I'll go crazy.
I am so good at putting on a happy face, but sometimes I can't. So my friends that are reading this, sometimes I just can't do stuff, I want to , but I can't , be patient, I'm working on it.
Speaking of working on it. I have been researching Essential Oils to use on myself and the dogs. I have just started with wintergreen and lemongrass for Kort, I have Frankincense coming for Tate when he has his seizures, and lavender for myself for anxiety and insomnia. If I notice they help I am going to look into selling them myself, I hope they help.
Well that's it, another installment in the secret life of Jolene :)