Wednesday, May 1, 2013


Oct 2007
I haven't thought of my dad in awhile.  He passed away in July 2010 & as the years go by it gets easier, kinda.
Dad had Parkinson's & Dementia.  Both horrible & they go hand in hand.  When he was first put into a facility he was pretty advanced & it didn't take long before he couldn't speak anymore.  I left Thunder Bay in 2007 & by the time I went back a year later he was pretty bad :(

Yesterday I was in Safeway & an older man walked past me, I had to do a double take as he looked so much like my dad.  Same build, same balding head, glasses, he even dressed similar.  It hit me hard & I teared up, right in the isle way.  I really had to concentrate on snapping out of it or I would have actually started bawling right  there.
Later last night my sister posted on Facebook that she had just woken from a dream with my dad in it.  She cried & cried because it was so real.  When I told her I had also had a "dad" experience as well, she said that in the dream it was only herself & I who were talking.  So after nothing, both of us had an experience on the same day, just hours apart.
I wonder what dad is trying to tell us :)

I am always posting pictures of dad before he got sick but I'm going to post a couple when he was quite advanced.  This is my blog, my diary, I didn't post them before because I thought people would find them too awful..... but I don't care, this is dad, this is what the horrible disease did to him,  this is how I remember him & it sucks.  It doesn't bother me anymore to see them, enough time has passed, I just know I miss him.  He was a sensitive, generous, man who loved nature & birds.  I have gotten that from him, Debra as well.  Funny, we are the 2 that were "visited" by him yesterday .

Dad's Birthday, March 19 2010


Squishy said...

I love that you both had a visit from your dad just hours apart. I think that is his way of letting him know he's around you both. I had a great dream of Pierre night before last that I played a recording of him laughing, which he did all the time. He then was there in person and I could hug which which I did with my entire body and could hardly let go. The dream was somewhat lengthy and I don't remember it all, but I remember the feeling of him in my life. Bliss.

Dianne SS said...

Both your dad and my mom had debilitating diseases that changed them so much. I know how you feel about the pictures, only I'm the opposite now. It pains me to look at the ones of my mom in the last year or so of her life. In fact I try to avoid doing so. You've probably noticed that I post pictures of her when she's much younger--that's the mother I and woman I want to remember most--the vital, intelligent, driven, and creative person she was. I had to see her deteriorate day after day, week after week, and month after month and I had to hold it together and not give into my sorrow over what was happening. I was always happy and cheery, tried to make her laugh, and always acted like nothing was different. So I guess that after she was gone, all those feelings that I bottled up came out and I find those pictures so upsetting.

It does get easier over time, but there are always those moments when one is overwhelmed again with loss. Your dad was certainly communicating with you and your sister and that's pretty special. (HUGS)

onecollie said...

it is so hard isn't it :(
Sometimes life does suck, but good friends help to make it easier :)