New Years Eve

Good and bad as always to ring out the previous year.  2015 will always be the year my mom passed away and the year Joanne's cancer took a turn for the worst.
Of course there was good in the year, Ash came home to live, and I got a job which I am looking forward to starting in the New Year. It's been rough living on one income and thank God I have family members that are able to help when things get too bad.  We couldn't have survived otherwise. 
2015 is also the year Lync was bred and hopefully 2016 means the pitter patter of puppy dog paws :)
My wish for 2016 is they find a cure for Cancer, the nasty life sucking disease that I hate with all my heart.
I hope my friends and family remain healthy and happy.
To you and yours, Happy New Year!

Christmas 2015

All I could manage for a tree this year

Merry Christmas everyone.
I say it but I don't really *feel* it you know.  It's hard when your husband is working all night long, then sleeping all day long to get into the spirit.  He woke up long enough to have supper with me then back to bed, so I have spent Christmas Eve , Christmas Day and Night alone .  Then there is the fact that I am missing my mom something horrible :(  I just want to call her and see her and talk to her again.  Most days I am doing fine but then the grief takes its hold and I am a mess.  It feels like I will never get over her not being here to guide me and help me. It's like I have lost a portion of myself way deep down , down where it hurts so bad I could scream.
But, life goes on, like it or not, I will get through it, the good and the bad.
I hope 2016 is better then 2015.

F*** Cancer

The bravest person I know

Thinking of my sister Joanne as Christmas draws closer.  She has been hospitalized for the 4th time in a few months, in all likelihood she will not be out for Christmas.  She continues to be in excruciating pain and I feel so helpless.  Her Cancer has spread to pretty much everywhere. I wish I never left Thunder Bay now, that I was still there to hold her hand while she goes through this.  She has her wife and my brother and sister in law but I know she would love to have her two sisters as well :(
I am scared , more scared then I've ever been for her, the Cancer is winning.  If you could say a prayer for her I would be grateful, she needs all the help she can get right now.

End of a Chapter

The beautiful weathered door to my moms house

Today my moms house gets a new family.  I have only ever known this house.  It has been in the family well before I was ever born, my Baba bought it, then my Uncle John took it over, then my mom.  We did think of keeping it in the family but it just wasn't meant to be.  If I was still in Thunder Bay I would have taken it over, but I cant keep wishing for things that can never happen.
I am so sad but at the same time glad it is going to be over soon.  It has been such a long 6 months for my sister in law Wendy , brother Brian and sister Joanne.  They have been working so hard to clean out the house and prepare it for sale.  I have the easy job even though my heart has been with my family as they went through the hard job of cleaning out the house.  Even Debra drove down and helped do some of the cleaning out.
Sometimes I think I will scream it hurts so bad. I know my mom would be proud of us all for doing what we thought was the best for us all, and as promised mom we have gone through the entire process without an argument.  This is one thing my mom made us promise before she passed away, that we would all get along and have no petty fights like so many families do under the pressure of losing a loved one.
Rest in peace mom, we are going to be just fine xoxo 

Moms pink house, her favourite colour

New Job!

After months of looking I finally found a job!!  I start in January and it is at the Superstore bakery!  I'm not baking but rather doing bagging and setting up first thing in the morning.  It shouldn't be too hard for me to wake up at 4 am lol, at least I am hoping it wont be!  I work till about 11 or on some days until 3, I hope I dont have too many shifts at 3 as it will be hard on the dogs at first.  The dogs have only known me to be home since 2013!  The fun thing is that in awhile after I have worked I will be trained to decorate cakes, how fun is that!?
I am also nervous as I haven't worked in so long but I have confidence in my ability to learn new things.
So here's to a great beginning to 2016!!