This morning Kort, Lync & I went for another off leash run in the Coulee's with Judy & her 2 Flatcoats. It is fun to watch Lync running up & down the hills chasing after the big guys. He had so much fun!
In the afternoon Liz, Lync's breeder picked us up for some training. Lync is entered in the baby puppy class at the AKC show in January so we figured we should do a bit of training :)
We let Lync & Larkin , Liz's Flatcoat puppy, burn off some steam first by having a play session, then it was down to business. Lync did so well! He stood beautifully & held his stack. He gaited around with Liz & didn't try & jump up or anything, he was a little pro.
I am really liking how he is looking, he is sturdy & sound, his coat glistens. I am excited by him .
It was a big day for the little guy so he is crashed out sound asleep, that is wonderful as it gives me some time to get stuff done :) like blogging!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Two Weeks
Today is 2 weeks since Lync came home.
It is fun to have a totally different temperament here then what I am used to. He is exactly what I thought a Flatcoat would be like. He is confident & outgoing. He is not afraid of stairs or floors or jumping up on the bed, missing & falling off. He just trys again. He is stubborn & can be a greedy guts, if one of the other dogs has a toy he wants he just runs & grabs it from them , he is learning this is not allowed lol!
He is much quieter & calmer then I expected. If I am tired & I don't feel like doing stuff he relaxes beside me & sleeps. He is an awesome dog in his crate, & goes quietly to bed when it is time, & does not make a peep until about 8 am. He is learning jumping on the counter is not allowed, & jumping up for his food bowl gets him nowhere.
He is slowly learning Tate is off limits, unless Tate initiates first. Tate is funny, if he is laying upstairs & Lync even sniffs him, he will go downstairs & hide, he was like that with Kort as well so it's nothing against Lync :)
Kort is finally getting better with Lync, Collies do not lick faces in play like the Flatcoats do, & they don't like it either, so Lync had a few lessons in acceptable Collie play. Kort is now initiating play with Lync more & more & I am thrilled. I always felt bad for Kort when I brought him home as a puppy. Tate was not a player, he never ever played with poor Kort, Kort loves to play , he is a big puppy at heart. He now has a playmate to grow old with & keep him company. ♥
I am excited to train Lync, I am not a fan of dog training, I love the end result, I just dislike getting there, but training Lync feels different. I get a chance to have a "do over", to get it right this time. I know the mistakes I made with Kort in his early training & I won't make those mistakes again.
Anyway, the last two weeks have flown by, can't wait for the next two!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Walkies
Lync at 4 months taken by Amanda Labadie |
It's been nice that my friends are are holidays right now, I've been getting out for lots of fun walks. On Christmas Day I joined Judy with Kona, Lync's mom, & Maizie, one of Judy's other Flatcoats, for a run in the Coulees. The wind was horrible with gusts of 92 km!!! The dogs didn't care though, so Judy & I plugged away. Lync had great fun chasing all the dogs up & down the Coulees. It was about an hours walk & he wasn't even tired!
Yesterday I met up with Amanda at a local park, she took some pictures of Lync for me & showed me some ideas to help me walk him as he is quite strong, & I don't have much strength in my upper body yet.
Today we headed out to Blazingstar where Andy volunteered to take portrait type photos of the dogs for me. I have been wanting some for awhile now, especially given Tate's age, & now with Lync joining the family I wanted some nice ones I can frame of all 3 of them. I can't wait to see them!!
Today is an absolutely gorgeous day here, yes it's windy, it's always windy here if it's warm. I was out today in just a hoodie , imagine that, the 27th of December & in a hoodie! However we are in for quite the storm overnight, temperatures dropping to the -25 range, blizzard conditions with blowing snow, accumulations of about 10 cm. Yuk!!
I have to bring my rental van back tomorrow, I've used up all the days on my insurance & can't afford to pay for it myself :(( So I will be without wheels again.
I talked to Rick, he is hoping my van will be done in a week. I hope so too!! seeing as he is leaving on holidays for a month!
Lync was very proud of his stick, taken by Amanda Labadie |
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas!!
It's Christmas morning, I'm sitting here with the dogs, relaxing while waiting for Brad to wake.
I'm feeling so blessed as I just watched Kort initiate, & play, with Lync ♥ It wasn't easy for Kort at first as he is my baby boy, he loves me like no other dog before him has.
I usually decide it is time to add a new dog to the pack about every 5-6 years. We all know the average life span of a collie is about 13 years, Tate will be 12 in April, I'm praying he will be here to celebrate next Christmas with us. But if it is not Gods will, Kort won't be alone, as he will have Lync for companionship.
It is a bloody miracle Lync is even here with our family!! Wow, what a roller coaster that was. He was mine, then he wasn't , then he was, then I had the accident! He is here now & he's here to stay ♥
Perkins is here for Christmas again. I have been lax in posting about Perkins! But I have a picture ! Amanda took this last night as the boys were waiting for Santa :)
I think this is the 5th Christmas Perkins has spent with us! We love him & think of him as ours when he is here.
Merry Christmas Everyone!
I'm feeling so blessed as I just watched Kort initiate, & play, with Lync ♥ It wasn't easy for Kort at first as he is my baby boy, he loves me like no other dog before him has.
I usually decide it is time to add a new dog to the pack about every 5-6 years. We all know the average life span of a collie is about 13 years, Tate will be 12 in April, I'm praying he will be here to celebrate next Christmas with us. But if it is not Gods will, Kort won't be alone, as he will have Lync for companionship.
It is a bloody miracle Lync is even here with our family!! Wow, what a roller coaster that was. He was mine, then he wasn't , then he was, then I had the accident! He is here now & he's here to stay ♥
Perkins is here for Christmas again. I have been lax in posting about Perkins! But I have a picture ! Amanda took this last night as the boys were waiting for Santa :)
I think this is the 5th Christmas Perkins has spent with us! We love him & think of him as ours when he is here.
Lync and Perkins waiting for Santa :) |
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Christmas Eve
My cute little tree :) |
I decided to go out yesterday & buy a tiny artificial tree, just to put a few ornaments on, it's cute :) I'm glad I got it.
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone, hope yours is Merry!
Monday, December 23, 2013
So This Is Christmas
Hmmmm, I am not in the spirit of Christmas this year, not even a teeny bit. Sure I've been going through the motions of replying Merry Christmas back to those that say it, When the grocery store cashiers ask if I'm ready for Christmas, I reply, oh yes!!
In truth I don't even have a tree, a first for me. I love Christmas. I love the way people are happier & caring, it's just too overwhelming this year, to do all the stuff I usually do so close to the day. I might go out & look for a little tree that can sit on my dog crate or something.
I have lots to be joyful for this Christmas, I finally have Lync!!! Tate is here for another Christmas, hurray!! I didn't die in my car accident, that's a good one;) but there's just alot of stuff in the background that is dampening my joy this year. I'll get through it, I have invited Amanda over for supper on Christmas Eve, Brad will be home around 8 from work, so he can join us in a nice meal. Amanda & I will have fun doing crafts & listening to Christmas music :)
Brad has Christmas day off then back to work on Boxing day. We have no presents for each other, the first time in 20 years. It's sad, but what can you do? when you have 2 vehicles break down & a third become a write off , there is no money left anyway, so no presents it was.
The dogs aren't bathed for the first time since I've had them, it bothers me alot. I finally asked Amanda & Julia to help me out this weekend, at least they will be handsome for New Years :)
Well I'm going to get myself going, still have some last minute things to pick up at the grocery store for tomorrow, as well as for supper tonight.
Unrelated to Christmas, Lync is fitting in just fine,he is a character for sure. I love his brave outgoing personality. He is learning not to bother Tate , it is just not allowed, unless he is just nicely sniffing at him, but he is not allowed to jump on him or chew at his neck or face, like he does to Kort. Poor Kort, it is kind of payback as that is what he did to Tate years ago. Kort has told Lync off numerous times if he gets too rough, play styles between retrievers & collies are very different, collies are not in your face kind of dogs, they don't want physical contact, they like to chase & be chased.
I have been doing beginners obedience work with Lync still, his official puppy class begin in January, how fun! I think he is going to make a very attentive, quick to learn dog.
So that's it, my Christmas story, god willing next year will be filled with nothing but peace & joy & lots of money hahaha!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Joanne
I love this picture of Joanne & Dad ♥ |
A different direction today. I want to talk about my sister Joanne again.
As you know she is home now from the hospital after her surgery. I talked to my mom yesterday and got more details. I knew she was having a mass in her back removed, one that was breaking bones. What I didn't know was they had to remove a rib to get at the mass, then they had to put a steel plate in her spine and use a cement type substance to stabilize everything. The mass was cancer , but thankfully not one of the more aggressive ones. They did radiation while she was under anesthetic.
She is waiting on results of the scan in her chest, then will get radiation & more chemo for that.
She is still in alot of pain, I can only imagine. It's all so sad, she has always had such a zest for life, always popular with everyone, she had a ton of friends when she was younger, still does. Kids love her!! She is the favourite aunt to my nieces & nephew.
I have comfort in the fact the Drs told Jane that she has years still left of life, she will not die of old age however, the cancer will get her before that, but she still has time to do everything she has ever dreamed of doing , love that girl ♥
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Getting into a Routine
Yesterday was a good day. I am getting into a bit of a routine which keeps me sane :)
I did some basic grooming type stuff on Lync yesterday. Trimmed his ears & cut his nails. He was NOT a fan of having his nails done, nothing serious, just normal puppy frustration at being asked to hold still for more then a second. Once I started I didn't want to stop however, in my experience as a groomer it is better to be patient, even if you do one nail every 5 minutes, then to let a puppy get away with pulling & screaming, not allowed!!
Later in the day I drove to my workplace for a visit, then off to a local pet shop for another visit. It was a pretty full day for a baby.
Next week when it is time to do his nails I will get Amanda to help me, I have unfortunately pulled something in my chest & it hurts. Yes, I should have know better, but again, I just didn't want Lync to win with that behavior.
Today when I got back to the house after Kort's walk Lync was screaming, I sure hope it is only when he hears me, I have a chiropractor appt. today & he is going to have to be in a crate for a couple of hours while I do other running around. Brad is working so he won't bother him , but Kort & Tate will get stressed by the crying so I feel bad for them :(
I took Lync for a walk on his own today without Tate. He was not as confident without another dog there! He was really good for the majority of our walk, he got quite worried when a dog started barking off in the background. He folded his ears back & sat down. I got him to move across the street & when he stopped with the worried look I got him to focus on some sits, & downs, he bounced back like a trooper.
Lync is a wonderful dog during the night, he is in his crate from 9 pm until 8-8:30 am. This morning when Brad got out of bed at 4 am he didn't even whimper :)
I am really enjoying the fun, happy nature he has !
I did some basic grooming type stuff on Lync yesterday. Trimmed his ears & cut his nails. He was NOT a fan of having his nails done, nothing serious, just normal puppy frustration at being asked to hold still for more then a second. Once I started I didn't want to stop however, in my experience as a groomer it is better to be patient, even if you do one nail every 5 minutes, then to let a puppy get away with pulling & screaming, not allowed!!
Later in the day I drove to my workplace for a visit, then off to a local pet shop for another visit. It was a pretty full day for a baby.
Next week when it is time to do his nails I will get Amanda to help me, I have unfortunately pulled something in my chest & it hurts. Yes, I should have know better, but again, I just didn't want Lync to win with that behavior.
Today when I got back to the house after Kort's walk Lync was screaming, I sure hope it is only when he hears me, I have a chiropractor appt. today & he is going to have to be in a crate for a couple of hours while I do other running around. Brad is working so he won't bother him , but Kort & Tate will get stressed by the crying so I feel bad for them :(
I took Lync for a walk on his own today without Tate. He was not as confident without another dog there! He was really good for the majority of our walk, he got quite worried when a dog started barking off in the background. He folded his ears back & sat down. I got him to move across the street & when he stopped with the worried look I got him to focus on some sits, & downs, he bounced back like a trooper.
Lync is a wonderful dog during the night, he is in his crate from 9 pm until 8-8:30 am. This morning when Brad got out of bed at 4 am he didn't even whimper :)
I am really enjoying the fun, happy nature he has !
Monday, December 16, 2013
He's Home ♥
Yesterday was the day, Lync came home!!
Judy picked me up at 8am & off we went to Cowley for the SAWHDA Christmas Party. They had tons of games planned for puppies as well as older dogs. It was alot of fun & felt good to be out working with Lync. He was amazing in the building. He worked on walking by my side, his sits, downs & stands , as well as a bit of show type training. I am amazed by what a stable temperament he has. He even sat in the ex pen quietly when I was doing other things.
This great temperament is genetic yes, but also has so much to do with the the wonderful socializing he received from the time he was born. Liz works very hard with her puppies to insure they are able to go out into the world head on without too much trouble. I have to give thanks also to Judy who has cared for Lync these past 3 weeks after my accident. She played a huge role in him being the good boy that he is as well!
Last night was a bit chaotic as to be expected. Lync was in a relatively new environment, he had only been here twice before. Tate & Kort were a little off , at one point I had Tate trying to crawl up into my lap, Kort was inches from my face hyperventilating & Lync was sitting there staring at me lol! I was like ok guys, give me some breathing room!! Eventually things calmed down.
Lync had a big day yesterday so after some snuggle time on the bed with Brad & I , I put him in his crate with a chewie for the night. It was 9pm. I got up to go to the washroom about 1am & he didn't make a peep, Brad got up at 4am for work, at that point Kort started to walk around , Lync whimpered a bit but I waited it out to see if he needed to go out, or he was just wanting to be with Kort. He eventually laid back down & slept until I got up at 8 am! I hope this is our routine everyday :)
We worked a bit on our perch work then about 11 I took Kort out for a walk by himself, leaving Lync in his crate with a kong, he cried when I walked in the house but I'm not sure if he cried the whole time I was gone. Then I took Lync & Tate out together, it went very well, Lync is a puller & is strong already so I need to work on that for sure. We saw big city work trucks pumping out a drain & Lync just watched them. We met up with the mail carrier who gave the boys a cookie, they liked that. Then I stopped on the corner by my house & did some sit, down, stand work while the cars whizzed by, he had great focus.
We came home & it was time for his lunch, & now he is soundly sleeping at my feet.
Later I will take him in the van & go visit the girls at work & stop into a couple of the pet stores .
So, a very good first day I think!
Judy picked me up at 8am & off we went to Cowley for the SAWHDA Christmas Party. They had tons of games planned for puppies as well as older dogs. It was alot of fun & felt good to be out working with Lync. He was amazing in the building. He worked on walking by my side, his sits, downs & stands , as well as a bit of show type training. I am amazed by what a stable temperament he has. He even sat in the ex pen quietly when I was doing other things.
This great temperament is genetic yes, but also has so much to do with the the wonderful socializing he received from the time he was born. Liz works very hard with her puppies to insure they are able to go out into the world head on without too much trouble. I have to give thanks also to Judy who has cared for Lync these past 3 weeks after my accident. She played a huge role in him being the good boy that he is as well!
Handsome Lync at 4 months |
Last night was a bit chaotic as to be expected. Lync was in a relatively new environment, he had only been here twice before. Tate & Kort were a little off , at one point I had Tate trying to crawl up into my lap, Kort was inches from my face hyperventilating & Lync was sitting there staring at me lol! I was like ok guys, give me some breathing room!! Eventually things calmed down.
Lync had a big day yesterday so after some snuggle time on the bed with Brad & I , I put him in his crate with a chewie for the night. It was 9pm. I got up to go to the washroom about 1am & he didn't make a peep, Brad got up at 4am for work, at that point Kort started to walk around , Lync whimpered a bit but I waited it out to see if he needed to go out, or he was just wanting to be with Kort. He eventually laid back down & slept until I got up at 8 am! I hope this is our routine everyday :)
We worked a bit on our perch work then about 11 I took Kort out for a walk by himself, leaving Lync in his crate with a kong, he cried when I walked in the house but I'm not sure if he cried the whole time I was gone. Then I took Lync & Tate out together, it went very well, Lync is a puller & is strong already so I need to work on that for sure. We saw big city work trucks pumping out a drain & Lync just watched them. We met up with the mail carrier who gave the boys a cookie, they liked that. Then I stopped on the corner by my house & did some sit, down, stand work while the cars whizzed by, he had great focus.
We came home & it was time for his lunch, & now he is soundly sleeping at my feet.
Later I will take him in the van & go visit the girls at work & stop into a couple of the pet stores .
So, a very good first day I think!
Friday, December 13, 2013
Good Things Happening
Things now are suddenly moving fast.
FINALLY got a call from my insurance adjuster yesterday. A cheque will be sent at some point next week, so that means I can give Rick some money & hopefully then he will start back up on fixing my van. Now if the personal claim adjuster would return my call all will be well in the world lol!
We were not able to afford the $800 to replace the fuel pump in Old Blue so right now I am again waiting for the tow truck to tow it back to our house from the garage.
A driver will be picking me up to take me back to Canadian Tire to pick up Brad's Oldsmobile that had a new starter put in it. We are going to try & find tires at a scrap yard as it would cost about $300 to get 4 new ones, hopefully the roads will remain dry so Brad will be safe driving the hour to & from work until we can find some.
Liz stopped by & brought some raw food to get me started with Lync who is coming on Sunday!!
She brought Larkin for a visit and Tate & Kort enjoyed seeing her. She is just so adorable!! I just love her.
Yesterday afternoon I decided I needed to get into the rental van & go for a short drive. I did very well, a bit more cautious then I needed to be, but all in all I was so happy to be driving! It is uncomfortable to shoulder check so I will not be making a habit of driving yet, only if I need to get out for groceries, dog supplies, or a Dr appt. Other then that I am staying put until I heal.
The rental is so fun! It is brand new & fancy! The gear shift is up on the dash board by the steering wheel! It has Sirius radio so I have a gazillion channels to choose from. The only thing I do not like is it does not have winter tires & I can really tell the difference. Our side roads are never plowed so the van has alot of trouble getting through the slushy thick mess.
I can hardly wait to have my van back with the winter tires on it.
So hurray for a "positive" post !!
FINALLY got a call from my insurance adjuster yesterday. A cheque will be sent at some point next week, so that means I can give Rick some money & hopefully then he will start back up on fixing my van. Now if the personal claim adjuster would return my call all will be well in the world lol!
We were not able to afford the $800 to replace the fuel pump in Old Blue so right now I am again waiting for the tow truck to tow it back to our house from the garage.
A driver will be picking me up to take me back to Canadian Tire to pick up Brad's Oldsmobile that had a new starter put in it. We are going to try & find tires at a scrap yard as it would cost about $300 to get 4 new ones, hopefully the roads will remain dry so Brad will be safe driving the hour to & from work until we can find some.
Liz stopped by & brought some raw food to get me started with Lync who is coming on Sunday!!
Lync loves to run! |
She brought Larkin for a visit and Tate & Kort enjoyed seeing her. She is just so adorable!! I just love her.
Larkin playing with Salander |
Yesterday afternoon I decided I needed to get into the rental van & go for a short drive. I did very well, a bit more cautious then I needed to be, but all in all I was so happy to be driving! It is uncomfortable to shoulder check so I will not be making a habit of driving yet, only if I need to get out for groceries, dog supplies, or a Dr appt. Other then that I am staying put until I heal.
The rental is so fun! It is brand new & fancy! The gear shift is up on the dash board by the steering wheel! It has Sirius radio so I have a gazillion channels to choose from. The only thing I do not like is it does not have winter tires & I can really tell the difference. Our side roads are never plowed so the van has alot of trouble getting through the slushy thick mess.
I can hardly wait to have my van back with the winter tires on it.
So hurray for a "positive" post !!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
3 weeks
Well it's been 3 weeks since my accident, I think it is time for my daily progress reports to end after today :) I am still needing pain medication but mainly in the morning after not taking any all night long. I can now go most of the day without! I probably take it every 6 hrs instead of every 4 now. I am still very limited to what I can do without pain, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel at least, so hurray for that!!
I will be doing Lync posts after Sunday, man could it finally be happening?? Is my puppy finally going to be here?? It can't come soon enough :)
Yesterday was a trying day, it was spent waiting.
Waiting on the phone to talk to AMA, waiting for the tow truck to take Old Blue to the garage, it finally arrived after 5 hrs.
Waiting for my insurance adjuster to call, which he never did. :(
Waiting for Enterprise to send someone to pick Brad & I up to get our rental, which we now have, but I'm not sure I can drive it, it is so fancy & new & has too many gadgets lol! The brakes are extremely touchy & if I barely even touch them I jerk forward, that will take time to get used too !
Waiting for the garage to tell us what is wrong with Old Blue......answer, the fuel pump is gone, cost, $800 to fix, and $113 to find that out :(
We can't afford it, any of it, right now we are waiting for AMA again to come & tow the Oldsmobile to the garage as we have to put a starter in it. That is $250 plus taxes, it has 4 bald tires so we need to buy at least 2 winter tires for it, Brad drives 1 hour each way to work, he must have tires that are safe.
So right now we are just trying to figure out how to carry on, how to do all this. My adjuster won't call me back so I have no idea how much they are giving us for Johnny, I don't understand how callous & uncaring this guy is being, we just feel a bit desperate right now as you can imagine.
We also just talked to Rick who is "supposed" to be working on my van. He has stopped working on it . He had offered for us to make payments to him, but because of that he has put our van on hold & is working on someone elses car as he needs money. I understand that , completely, but I am just worn out, tired of all this bullshit. Like I said earlier if the adjuster would just call & give us some answers, let us know how much money I am getting , I could tell Rick how much money I can give him. I only have this rental for maybe 3 weeks, if my van is not done by then that's it, back to being without wheels.
I will be doing Lync posts after Sunday, man could it finally be happening?? Is my puppy finally going to be here?? It can't come soon enough :)
Yesterday was a trying day, it was spent waiting.
Waiting on the phone to talk to AMA, waiting for the tow truck to take Old Blue to the garage, it finally arrived after 5 hrs.
Waiting for my insurance adjuster to call, which he never did. :(
My fancy rental |
Waiting for Enterprise to send someone to pick Brad & I up to get our rental, which we now have, but I'm not sure I can drive it, it is so fancy & new & has too many gadgets lol! The brakes are extremely touchy & if I barely even touch them I jerk forward, that will take time to get used too !
Waiting for the garage to tell us what is wrong with Old Blue......answer, the fuel pump is gone, cost, $800 to fix, and $113 to find that out :(
We can't afford it, any of it, right now we are waiting for AMA again to come & tow the Oldsmobile to the garage as we have to put a starter in it. That is $250 plus taxes, it has 4 bald tires so we need to buy at least 2 winter tires for it, Brad drives 1 hour each way to work, he must have tires that are safe.
So right now we are just trying to figure out how to carry on, how to do all this. My adjuster won't call me back so I have no idea how much they are giving us for Johnny, I don't understand how callous & uncaring this guy is being, we just feel a bit desperate right now as you can imagine.
We also just talked to Rick who is "supposed" to be working on my van. He has stopped working on it . He had offered for us to make payments to him, but because of that he has put our van on hold & is working on someone elses car as he needs money. I understand that , completely, but I am just worn out, tired of all this bullshit. Like I said earlier if the adjuster would just call & give us some answers, let us know how much money I am getting , I could tell Rick how much money I can give him. I only have this rental for maybe 3 weeks, if my van is not done by then that's it, back to being without wheels.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Day 20
Today began with Brad trying to get Old Blue going, still no luck. Rick had offered for us to tow it out there yesterday to see if it would help to thaw things out, when Brad called today he had changed his mind *sigh*, so I called my insurance adjuster AGAIN and left another message. It is 1:30 & I called him at 10 am, do you think I'll hear from him today???
So Brad called AMA to tow the van to Canadian Tire, we called them at 11:30am , wait time was 2 hrs, it is now 3 hrs later & no sign of them *double sigh*
Then I called back to my own insurance company, she called back to say she had also left a message with my adjuster yesterday & he didn't even call her back.
This is just unacceptable, they need to at least make an effort to call & say, sorry, we're busy but we are working on your claim, anything but this. :(
The good news if that my insurance company gave me the go ahead to rent a vehicle without talking to the adjuster. They are picking me up at 4 pm. I can now get myself out for groceries or to Drs appointments.
Brad will have a vehicle to get to work on Friday as we have no idea what is wrong with Old Blue, or how long it will take to fix it, or if we have the money to fix it. I have to come up $150 for the rental too as we no longer have credit cards . I'll just go to the money tree in the backyard, so no worries there.
I got the living room crate set up for Lync who is coming on Sunday, I switched Kort into a soft crate and gave Lync the Vari kennel. Kort is so cute, he just loves to curl up & snuggle in a crate.
So that is about it today for the adventures of Jolene, stay tuned for more tomorrow
So Brad called AMA to tow the van to Canadian Tire, we called them at 11:30am , wait time was 2 hrs, it is now 3 hrs later & no sign of them *double sigh*
Then I called back to my own insurance company, she called back to say she had also left a message with my adjuster yesterday & he didn't even call her back.
This is just unacceptable, they need to at least make an effort to call & say, sorry, we're busy but we are working on your claim, anything but this. :(
The good news if that my insurance company gave me the go ahead to rent a vehicle without talking to the adjuster. They are picking me up at 4 pm. I can now get myself out for groceries or to Drs appointments.
Brad will have a vehicle to get to work on Friday as we have no idea what is wrong with Old Blue, or how long it will take to fix it, or if we have the money to fix it. I have to come up $150 for the rental too as we no longer have credit cards . I'll just go to the money tree in the backyard, so no worries there.
I got the living room crate set up for Lync who is coming on Sunday, I switched Kort into a soft crate and gave Lync the Vari kennel. Kort is so cute, he just loves to curl up & snuggle in a crate.
So that is about it today for the adventures of Jolene, stay tuned for more tomorrow
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Day 19
Still no word from my insurance adjuster. He told me he would call me last Friday. I called him on Monday, he didn't return my call. Today I called my insurance broker, she said she would call him & see what is going on, that was at 11:30, it's now 2:30, nothing.
I am going to get a rental vehicle if they ever call me back. I think I should be ok to drive myself to my chiropractor appointments which are once a week. Today Amanda is taking me, this is my first appointment since the accident.
It would also be nice to be able to get to the grocery store on my own.
We have no working vehicles right now, Old Blue is still sitting here with a frozen fuel line. Unless we get it into a heated garage I doubt it will thaw out. Brad goes back to work on Friday so we have 2 days to figure this out.
You know we went for years and years with no trouble in the winter, this year all we have had is one set back after another. This is also the most snow & cold we have had this early in the season as well, figures.
I managed to get Kort brushed yesterday, he took no time or effort as he was bathed last month. Today I started to work on Tate, now he is a job & a half! I got quite a bit done on him as well, I just sat on the kitchen floor & it wasn't too hard on my chest , I'll give him, & me, a days break then do a bit more.
I am going to get a rental vehicle if they ever call me back. I think I should be ok to drive myself to my chiropractor appointments which are once a week. Today Amanda is taking me, this is my first appointment since the accident.
It would also be nice to be able to get to the grocery store on my own.
We have no working vehicles right now, Old Blue is still sitting here with a frozen fuel line. Unless we get it into a heated garage I doubt it will thaw out. Brad goes back to work on Friday so we have 2 days to figure this out.
You know we went for years and years with no trouble in the winter, this year all we have had is one set back after another. This is also the most snow & cold we have had this early in the season as well, figures.
I managed to get Kort brushed yesterday, he took no time or effort as he was bathed last month. Today I started to work on Tate, now he is a job & a half! I got quite a bit done on him as well, I just sat on the kitchen floor & it wasn't too hard on my chest , I'll give him, & me, a days break then do a bit more.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Countdown!
Ok, the countdown is on for Lync to come home.....finally!! Weather permitting Judy will pick me up on Sunday & we are going out to Cowley for some training & socialization. Then that is it, Lync comes back home with me! It can't happen soon enough. I think Lync will bring years of joy into our family :)
I know Judy is going to miss him so much! but what a lucky guy to have 3 families he is comfortable in. Talk about a great temperament.
I am hoping to get out again on Thursday to Liz's for a photo shoot. I have been trying to get pictures done of Tate, Kort & Lync but the weather has just been way too nasty, so Andy is going to help me out! I don't have any recent pictures of Lync so it will be so fun! I am going to see if Brad will drive me seeing as he is off, then maybe I can convince him to get in a few shots , a real family portrait!
No more news on either of my vans, I have called twice to my adjuster but so far no returned call. I am hopeful there is much progress on my "new" van as well. I feel I need to drive again as soon as I can to get over my fears.
This morning Brad got stranded at work again. His Oldsmobile that he got on the road wouldn't start, not even kidding! He had to get it towed home. So now we have a van that has a frozen fuel line & an Oldsmobile that needs a starter, thank god Brad is off now for 4 days.
I know Judy is going to miss him so much! but what a lucky guy to have 3 families he is comfortable in. Talk about a great temperament.
I am hoping to get out again on Thursday to Liz's for a photo shoot. I have been trying to get pictures done of Tate, Kort & Lync but the weather has just been way too nasty, so Andy is going to help me out! I don't have any recent pictures of Lync so it will be so fun! I am going to see if Brad will drive me seeing as he is off, then maybe I can convince him to get in a few shots , a real family portrait!
No more news on either of my vans, I have called twice to my adjuster but so far no returned call. I am hopeful there is much progress on my "new" van as well. I feel I need to drive again as soon as I can to get over my fears.
This morning Brad got stranded at work again. His Oldsmobile that he got on the road wouldn't start, not even kidding! He had to get it towed home. So now we have a van that has a frozen fuel line & an Oldsmobile that needs a starter, thank god Brad is off now for 4 days.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Day 18
Today I went to Liz's to do some crafts. I have never been a very crafty person but at Christmas I enjoy making things . With Liz's help making the cutouts I made some tree ornaments & a wooden Merry Christmas sign.
It was great to be out of the house & in company of good friends, & Flatcoats!
When Amanda picked me up to drive me there this morning it was cold & snowing. The drive to Liz's is about 45 minutes on the highway. We had barely even started out, & had just turned on to the highway, when I had a bit of a panic attack & even started to cry . I was looking at the road & all I could think of was that it could be black ice. I have driven for over 25 years & I have never panicked in a vehicle. It took me quite by surprise . I guess I have more then physical things to overcome :(
This morning when Brad got home from work, & I woke up when he came in, I was having a dream that my car was sliding backwards down an icy hill , at the bottom I hit a snowbank. It was a horrible dream. The dream, & my reaction to being on the highway today, tells me I may be more traumatized then I even realized.
I felt really silly to tell you the truth, but my reaction was real. I was fine on the way home from Liz's which I was happy about.
So here are my finished products from today , I have to tell you the tri colour collie was hard for me to get right, but I'm pretty pleased with it! The pictures do not do them justice, you will have to trust me :)
It was great to be out of the house & in company of good friends, & Flatcoats!
When Amanda picked me up to drive me there this morning it was cold & snowing. The drive to Liz's is about 45 minutes on the highway. We had barely even started out, & had just turned on to the highway, when I had a bit of a panic attack & even started to cry . I was looking at the road & all I could think of was that it could be black ice. I have driven for over 25 years & I have never panicked in a vehicle. It took me quite by surprise . I guess I have more then physical things to overcome :(
This morning when Brad got home from work, & I woke up when he came in, I was having a dream that my car was sliding backwards down an icy hill , at the bottom I hit a snowbank. It was a horrible dream. The dream, & my reaction to being on the highway today, tells me I may be more traumatized then I even realized.
I felt really silly to tell you the truth, but my reaction was real. I was fine on the way home from Liz's which I was happy about.
So here are my finished products from today , I have to tell you the tri colour collie was hard for me to get right, but I'm pretty pleased with it! The pictures do not do them justice, you will have to trust me :)
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Day 17
This picture is from Jan 1 2012 :) |
Cold.....
It is soooo cold here, reminds me of Thunder Bay in January!! It has been -46C with the windchill, & that is nasty cold.
The poor dogs haven't been walked in days. I am not going out to walk them as I can't breathe in this cold, & I am not asking my friends to walk in it either! Tate is ok, he sleeps alot anyway, but poor Kort is bored. I've been doing things with him like practicing his scent articles & other obedience type games .
Perkins is here for a few days & he hates this cold weather, so he couldn't care less if he walked, he is happy curling up with Brad or myself, or in his comfy dog bed.
The insurance adjuster did not call me yesterday, no surprise there. Whatever, my van is a write off so it doesn't matter anyway.
I've been having some bad nights, last night I just started to cry, not really sure over what, everything I guess. Just trying to get through the days right now, some days are better then others. It's probably just that I've been in pain every day for 17 days, ugh
Lync will be here in a week, then I won't have time to cry over anything , lol!
I am invited out to Liz's for a craft day tomorrow, Amanda is picking me up, I can't tell you how excited I am !! Getting out of the house will be good for me :)
My dogs need to be groomed, I am not exaggerating. Kort is not bad as he had a bath last month, but Tate is in horrible shape. I didn't bath him last month thinking I would wait until the week before Christmas, it is hard on him to stand in the tub for long so I was going to get Amanda to help me. Now that I am hurt I can't do it, & he is full of undercoat, I have to get it out of him , I don't want him getting hotspots due to old coat sitting against his skin. It is uncomfortable & itchy as well.
This alone frustrates me so much, I need to be better all ready!!! I am going to try & comb some out of him today, but it is a big job & I'm not sure how far I will get.
Ok, off to have some breakfast :)
Friday, December 6, 2013
Day 16
Brad's van is still frozen solid, the temperature here will have to get up above 0 in order for the fuel line to thaw out, right now we are at -45C with the windchill so that is not going to happen anytime soon I'm afraid.
Brad has gotten his Oldsmobile out that he had parked for the winter, it needs a new starter but because it is so cold it will start now. I don't understand it really but something gets stuck when it's hot out. This car does not have winter tires or good heat, but it will get him to work right now anyway.
I finally got in touch with my insurance adjuster yesterday, he did not know yet what they will offer me for Johnny, he did confirm however that it is indeed a write off :(
I told him I want to keep Johnny for parts & then he said I have to pay a 10-12% salvage fee, seriously? What the hell ?
He was supposed to call me this morning to let me know the figures, but right now it is 3o'clock & I still haven't heard a thing.
I did phone Rick though to tell him he can start on my "new" van as I can keep Johnny for parts, so as far as I know he has begun work.
Brad & I need to go out there again on Brad's next day off as I still have a crate & an ex-pen in it. I am going to take some pictures of it if I remember.
I had a fantastic night last night, I had no pain at all & I was so excited, but this morning I woke up with throbbing pain!! I guess the pain killers are doing a great job keeping me pain free & because I have stopped waking up every 4 hours to take them, I am quite sore in the morning. I know , it takes time :) ya ya
A friend of mine posted yesterday that there is black ice on Whoop Ice , that makes me so angry!!! Whoop Up was where I hit black ice, what is wrong with this city??? why won't they sand there? I hope no one else got hurt :(
Perkins arrived today to stay for a few days, he is not a fan of this cold weather, poor guy!
Joanne got home from the hospital yesterday, she is doing pretty good, in pain of course, but at least she is home & the surgery is over. On the day of her surgery she & her family were supposed to going to Jamaica, poor kids where so bummed out. They were smart & bought accident & illness cancellation insurance so they will go when Joanne is up to it in the New Year.
That's all the updates for today
Brad has gotten his Oldsmobile out that he had parked for the winter, it needs a new starter but because it is so cold it will start now. I don't understand it really but something gets stuck when it's hot out. This car does not have winter tires or good heat, but it will get him to work right now anyway.
I finally got in touch with my insurance adjuster yesterday, he did not know yet what they will offer me for Johnny, he did confirm however that it is indeed a write off :(
I told him I want to keep Johnny for parts & then he said I have to pay a 10-12% salvage fee, seriously? What the hell ?
He was supposed to call me this morning to let me know the figures, but right now it is 3o'clock & I still haven't heard a thing.
I did phone Rick though to tell him he can start on my "new" van as I can keep Johnny for parts, so as far as I know he has begun work.
Brad & I need to go out there again on Brad's next day off as I still have a crate & an ex-pen in it. I am going to take some pictures of it if I remember.
I had a fantastic night last night, I had no pain at all & I was so excited, but this morning I woke up with throbbing pain!! I guess the pain killers are doing a great job keeping me pain free & because I have stopped waking up every 4 hours to take them, I am quite sore in the morning. I know , it takes time :) ya ya
A friend of mine posted yesterday that there is black ice on Whoop Ice , that makes me so angry!!! Whoop Up was where I hit black ice, what is wrong with this city??? why won't they sand there? I hope no one else got hurt :(
Perkins arrived today to stay for a few days, he is not a fan of this cold weather, poor guy!
Joanne got home from the hospital yesterday, she is doing pretty good, in pain of course, but at least she is home & the surgery is over. On the day of her surgery she & her family were supposed to going to Jamaica, poor kids where so bummed out. They were smart & bought accident & illness cancellation insurance so they will go when Joanne is up to it in the New Year.
That's all the updates for today
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Day 15
Cursed :(
You know I'm not sure just how much more we can take , Brad & I .
I woke up this morning to the phone ringing, Brad is stuck at work, 1 hour away after working his 12 hour shift last night. The gas line in his vehicle froze, we are having a -46 windchill & he didn't have gas line antifreeze in the van. He is waiting for AMA to come out & tow him home. We don't have the plus membership so we will have to pay for the extra milage.
He had to book off of work tonight as well, so that is about $200 or so less on his cheque that we can't afford.
It is easy for people to say , "look at the bright side" but I'm sorry, I am having a hard time seeing any bright side right now.
You know I'm not sure just how much more we can take , Brad & I .
I woke up this morning to the phone ringing, Brad is stuck at work, 1 hour away after working his 12 hour shift last night. The gas line in his vehicle froze, we are having a -46 windchill & he didn't have gas line antifreeze in the van. He is waiting for AMA to come out & tow him home. We don't have the plus membership so we will have to pay for the extra milage.
He had to book off of work tonight as well, so that is about $200 or so less on his cheque that we can't afford.
It is easy for people to say , "look at the bright side" but I'm sorry, I am having a hard time seeing any bright side right now.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
A Cold Winter Day :)
I made Diana a video of our yard lol! but anyone can watch it if they want haha!
-26 C is -15 F & 30cm is 12" or so ......
Enjoy :)
-26 C is -15 F & 30cm is 12" or so ......
Enjoy :)
Day 14
2 week Anniversary today of the accident.....
How am I today, lets see.
Tired of waiting for people to decide the fate of Johnny & whether they will let me keep it for parts. Apparently the adjuster saw my van 2 days ago but no one has even called me. I just happened to call Rick today & he says" so what did they decide"
Just waiting now for a call back because of course no one ever answers their phones, always an answering machine, sigh.
Other then that I am still in pain, I keep trying to stop my pain medication. I want to see if I still need them, yup, still need them ! I am happy to be at home. I do not even feel like going back to work, my Dr. has put a possible return to work as January 6, we will see. The way I feel right now I can't even imagine working. I know I am doing things around the house, and maybe it seems like I could work, but it takes me forever & it is not without pain!! It takes me about 20 minutes just to shower, everything has to be done is slow motion right now.
I am thankful that Brad has returned to work and he is making enough money to keep us going until some of my benefits kick in.
I am having trouble getting the accident visions out of my head, especially at night. I keep seeing the slide happening, I remember thinking that day, "wow I am way to close to the guard rail, how the heck did I get here?" Then I remember hitting the concrete wall, but I do not know how I got across the road. I wonder if I will ever remember ?? I doubt it.
My sister Joanne is doing awesome!! They may even let her out of the hospital today!! We are so excited about her progress! She is so strong, stronger then me ♥
So fingers crossed that I will hear from the insurance soon & work can begin again on getting a vehicle for me , I'm going to need one more then ever once Lync comes home, & hopefully the pain will subside soon so I can actually drive lol!
How am I today, lets see.
Tired of waiting for people to decide the fate of Johnny & whether they will let me keep it for parts. Apparently the adjuster saw my van 2 days ago but no one has even called me. I just happened to call Rick today & he says" so what did they decide"
Just waiting now for a call back because of course no one ever answers their phones, always an answering machine, sigh.
Other then that I am still in pain, I keep trying to stop my pain medication. I want to see if I still need them, yup, still need them ! I am happy to be at home. I do not even feel like going back to work, my Dr. has put a possible return to work as January 6, we will see. The way I feel right now I can't even imagine working. I know I am doing things around the house, and maybe it seems like I could work, but it takes me forever & it is not without pain!! It takes me about 20 minutes just to shower, everything has to be done is slow motion right now.
I am thankful that Brad has returned to work and he is making enough money to keep us going until some of my benefits kick in.
I am having trouble getting the accident visions out of my head, especially at night. I keep seeing the slide happening, I remember thinking that day, "wow I am way to close to the guard rail, how the heck did I get here?" Then I remember hitting the concrete wall, but I do not know how I got across the road. I wonder if I will ever remember ?? I doubt it.
My sister Joanne is doing awesome!! They may even let her out of the hospital today!! We are so excited about her progress! She is so strong, stronger then me ♥
So fingers crossed that I will hear from the insurance soon & work can begin again on getting a vehicle for me , I'm going to need one more then ever once Lync comes home, & hopefully the pain will subside soon so I can actually drive lol!
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Day 13
Frustrated is the word for today.
I am frustrated that I can't do anything for myself without taking forever or being in pain. I've had enough already, I want to be better!!
I hate my house not being clean, so I cleaned it, I dusted, I cleaned my bathroom, & I vacuumed again. I know I shouldn't have, probably making things worse, but I can't just sit on my ass day after day doing nothing , it's just not me. I took my time & didn't stretch too much, but I have to admit, NOW it hurts alot , especially if I hiccup, which I have been having tons of since the accident!!! I hate the hiccups, they hurt my chest, like alot :(
I wish we didn't get this stupid snow. It is so cold out & it is hard for Tate to trudge through the drifts in the yard to go to the bathroom. Brad did go out & shovel a path for him this morning so I feel better now. Kort just goes outside , does what he needs to right away, & hes back in. Tate has always taken forever to do anything. He walks back & forth, back and forth , I'd say at least 20 times before he goes, totally serious!! I have to watch him out the window because by the time he does go he has forgotten to pee, he comes to the door & I have to say "go pee Tate" back he goes to walk back & forth until he finds the perfect spot & position to go, ugh, meanwhile his feet are freezing , sucks to see him old.
I know I know, another negative post , but you try being house bound & not do anything for 2 weeks, see how long you can last haha!
Good news .. Brad & I have decided on Dec 16th to bring Lync here permanently!! That will give me just under 2 weeks to feel even better. It will be one week before Christmas so hopefully we will be in a routine before the big day. Brad is working all through Christmas so I don't think we will put up a tree this year. I will decorate the house with lights & stuff so it will look festive. It will be just fine. I can't believe it is almost Christmas anyway. I have done no shopping & I am not driving so it is kind of hard right now. I hope to get a rental in a couple of weeks though, who knows, maybe my van will even be ready ????
I am frustrated that I can't do anything for myself without taking forever or being in pain. I've had enough already, I want to be better!!
I hate my house not being clean, so I cleaned it, I dusted, I cleaned my bathroom, & I vacuumed again. I know I shouldn't have, probably making things worse, but I can't just sit on my ass day after day doing nothing , it's just not me. I took my time & didn't stretch too much, but I have to admit, NOW it hurts alot , especially if I hiccup, which I have been having tons of since the accident!!! I hate the hiccups, they hurt my chest, like alot :(
I wish we didn't get this stupid snow. It is so cold out & it is hard for Tate to trudge through the drifts in the yard to go to the bathroom. Brad did go out & shovel a path for him this morning so I feel better now. Kort just goes outside , does what he needs to right away, & hes back in. Tate has always taken forever to do anything. He walks back & forth, back and forth , I'd say at least 20 times before he goes, totally serious!! I have to watch him out the window because by the time he does go he has forgotten to pee, he comes to the door & I have to say "go pee Tate" back he goes to walk back & forth until he finds the perfect spot & position to go, ugh, meanwhile his feet are freezing , sucks to see him old.
I know I know, another negative post , but you try being house bound & not do anything for 2 weeks, see how long you can last haha!
Good news .. Brad & I have decided on Dec 16th to bring Lync here permanently!! That will give me just under 2 weeks to feel even better. It will be one week before Christmas so hopefully we will be in a routine before the big day. Brad is working all through Christmas so I don't think we will put up a tree this year. I will decorate the house with lights & stuff so it will look festive. It will be just fine. I can't believe it is almost Christmas anyway. I have done no shopping & I am not driving so it is kind of hard right now. I hope to get a rental in a couple of weeks though, who knows, maybe my van will even be ready ????
Monday, December 2, 2013
Day 12
Joanne's surgery yesterday went well without any complications , hurray!!!!! They have already had her up walking this morning. What a relief!
I walked again with Brad and the boys last night, it was so nice out so I took advantage of that. I am wondering if I can take the dogs out walking on my own now when Brad goes back to work. Today we are having a blizzard , it is horrible outside, so no walking today for anyone. If the snow gets too deep I won't be able to walk, it will require too much strength & I'm not quite there yet.
I was able to lay a bit flatter last night instead of in a sitting position, man it felt wonderful!!! I can't wait to be able to sleep on my side , or on my stomach, which is actually my favourite position. :)
I am getting anxious to get my van back, this stupid blizzard makes me think that the adjuster won't be able to get out to Ricks to see my van , which will delay the start of the repairs :(
I can't go anywhere right now but that is beside the point :)
That is pretty much all I have to report today, not too much exciting stuff happens when you are house bound lol!
I walked again with Brad and the boys last night, it was so nice out so I took advantage of that. I am wondering if I can take the dogs out walking on my own now when Brad goes back to work. Today we are having a blizzard , it is horrible outside, so no walking today for anyone. If the snow gets too deep I won't be able to walk, it will require too much strength & I'm not quite there yet.
I was able to lay a bit flatter last night instead of in a sitting position, man it felt wonderful!!! I can't wait to be able to sleep on my side , or on my stomach, which is actually my favourite position. :)
I am getting anxious to get my van back, this stupid blizzard makes me think that the adjuster won't be able to get out to Ricks to see my van , which will delay the start of the repairs :(
I can't go anywhere right now but that is beside the point :)
That is pretty much all I have to report today, not too much exciting stuff happens when you are house bound lol!
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Day 11
Lync with me at 3 weeks ♥ |
Today Joanne will have the surgery to remove the cancerous mass in her back. We are all so worried about her as we pray for a good outcome. At times like this I wish I had an abundance of wealth so I could go home to be with Joanne & my mom, I hate being here having to wait by the phone, I would rather be by their side :(
Yesterday morning Brad & I went out to the place where my van is. I got out, took one look & started to cry. It is horrible the damage that was done, I am grateful to be injured as little as I am. It is also hard to see something you took great pride in destroyed. Brad & I have worked so hard for any money we have, this is only the second vehicle I have ever owned & I took such good care of it, it was supposed to last me years. The damage was greater then we thought. It can't be fixed. Rick is the guy we have trusted to help us. When we moved to Lethbridge in 2007 my old Aerostar couldn't pass the out of province inspection. It had a hole in the under carriage. A guy at Brads workplace suggested Rick. He fixed the under carriage for us & we passed the out of province inspection.
Rick does not advertise his business, it is ALL word of mouth. He is an honest guy who helps people out when he can. He has agreed to take payments of whatever Brad & I can afford to fix my van.
So when Brad & I got there & he told me he could not fix "my" van afterall I was devastated. He did however have a solution.
My mom & sister sent Brad & I some money to get started on repairs. Rick found a 2002 Dodge Caravan, that was in relatively good shape, & bought it to originally use for the parts. Now however we are going to fix this van for me to use. Rick is going to take the engine out of Johnny, ( my vans name :) , & put it in the other van. Johnny only has 80,000 km on it. The other van is rusted on the front hood & all the wheel covers , so Rick will take all those parts from Johnny as well & put them on the other van.
The interior of the other van is horrid, but that is a minor thing. It will have to be professionally cleaned though before I can put anything in it. The entire windshield needs to be replaced as well, not sure how I will afford that, but it is entirely cracked so it is a must. Rick will also need to remove other areas of rust on the new van but that is his specialty so I am not worried. He will then need to paint the new van as Johnny was silver & the new van is blue, another blue van , my Aerostar was blue.
The good thing about the new van is it is an extended van so I will have more room in the back for my crates ! I also noticed some gadgets on the ceiling, I haven't been able to figure out what those are for as I really didn't look that closely. I was having a hard time looking at this piece of junk & seeing the vision that Rick was .
When we got home from Ricks it was time for my visit with Lync ! He lifted my spirits for sure. He stayed for 2 1/2 hrs & it was great fun.
I was ready to lay down after though as I'm afraid I did too much in the morning. I took all the stuff out of Johnny to bring home, I should have waited for Brad but he was in talking to Rick & I just wanted to be alone , outside, with Johnny. Please don't laugh at me ok, I really am upset about my van. Please don't tell me that it is just an object, it is replaceable, I know that, I'm not an idiot, but it was "my" object.
Too many bad things happening all at once, I just need time to become my old self again.
Thanks for reading :)
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